The No-Cry Nap Solution by Elizabeth Pantley

I hesitated to read The No-Cry Nap Solution  because I am so happy with my own “no-cry nap solution” that I wasn’t sure it would be helpful. Currently, Nathan generally sleeps 12-13 hours at night (though he nurses during this time without really waking), 1.5-2 hours for his first nap, and 2-2.5 for his second nap. He hasn’t always napped this well. We had some breastfeeding issues for a while there, but after that was resolved, he started napping better. Then, we moved and everything sort of deteriorated into 30-minute naps for about a month. We have a pretty unique living situation right now, as our house is just one room (not counting the closet and bathroom). We can’t darken the room because I read during his naps (no household chores because of the noise issue) and Gus studies when he is home. Since he could also see us when he woke up from these 30-minute naps, he had a hard time getting resettled. So I decided I would start lying down with him for both his naps. I usually did this for one partial nap a day already, but since I could only read anyway, I figured I could do still do that right next to him and help him resettle before he got too roused looking for me.

At first, he still didn’t really go back to sleep after he woke up. But I would lay there with him quietly for a little while until he started fussing. Gradually, he began to sleep longer and longer. And then, magically, he woke up after about an hour one day, looked up at me (pretending to be asleep), looked around the room for a few minutes and went back to sleep without a peep for an hour and a half longer. He followed this pattern for most every nap for about two or three weeks until, magically, he stopped waking up in the middle of his naps.

I’m still lying down with him for most of his naps because I enjoy doing it; I can nap if I’m tired or read or just think. But I don’t suppose that every other mom would find this solution helpful. So I wanted to read this book for my own future reference when we have more than one room in our house or to recommend to friends who might be interested.

The book starts with all the basic facts about napping informing the reader why naps are so important and about how much sleep your baby should be getting during the day and night. She then covers all sorts of nap “problems” like switching from in-arms sleep to crib sleep, turning catnaps into longer naps, undoing the suck-to-sleep association with breastfeeding, bottles and pacifiers, and making the transition from motion sleep to stationary sleep. I like her perspective on these “problems”:

This book is about solving those problems that you feel are problems. Just because there is a chapter about how to help your baby stop napping in your arms doesn’t mean that napping in your arms is an evil sin to be banished and you must stop now no matter what – it means that if having your baby nap in your arms is a problem for you, then I will provide you with ideas that will help you make a change.

I really appreciated Pantley’s charitable view about in-arms sleep and other napping “problems.” She emphasizes picking solutions that are right for your baby, for you, and for the rest of your family, and she does not suggest a one-size-fits-all program. Your baby should be getting a certain amount of sleep, and her varied suggestions can help you achieve that goal.

A lot of the sleep issues she addresses have similar solutions, like creating a cozy sleep environment for the baby, helping your baby wind-down before naps, and developing naptime rituals. Two of more in-depth and creative solutions, the “Pantley Dance” and the “Pantley Pull-Off” tell parents step-by-step how to get their babies in the crib from in-arms and how to pull your nursing baby off before they suck themselves into a deep sleep. I really liked both of these solutions, and they seemed like they would work. But I don’t really have any way to test them.

Nathan slept in-arms most naps for the first four months of his life, and I guess he just grew out of it. He was too busy looking around to fall asleep that way. It’s such a sweet moment when he falls asleep like this now because it is so rare, and I’m actually hoping he will start falling asleep in our arms again, as it would be really helpful for during church.

At some point in the first few months, he started nursing to sleep in-arms, and I still nurse him to sleep most of the time in the side-lying position. She explains exactly why I like nursing to sleep so much: “It’s a simple process: when they are ready to sleep, they suck and they are out! So the sucking is actually the wind-down period, the routine, the sleep cue, the sleep aid, the lovey, and even the sleep place – all rolled into one” (157). This works for us, but I may want to do something different or in addition to nursing to sleep for the next child. I know that it will be hard for us to undo the nursing to sleep association, but my thinking is that we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Since I don’t have experience with another child, I’m just sort of waiting to see how this will go, and if I decide to wean him from naptime nursing at some point, I’ll try some of her solutions.

She also suggests charting information about your baby’s naps and creating a nap plan based on patterns you see in your child’s sleep. Even the idea of creating a nap plan, though, really makes me sick. I like that she recognizes that, for some, “one look at [the sleep logs] gives you the hives” (23), and she encourages those people to find the chapters and suggestions that they can casually work into their routines (or lack thereof) to help their children nap.

While I don’t want to give up nursing to sleep, I think I will try some of her “catnap” solutions for getting Nathan to sleep alone for his first nap. He doesn’t really wake up during his naps anymore, but he hasn’t really had the chance to take a long nap without me. So after nursing him to sleep, I am going to get up, sit in a chair next to the bed instead of cuddled up next to him, and help him get through his sleep transitions if necessary by patting or singing or whatever. I may go back to lying down with him after a few weeks; I really just want to see if it works. So I’ll be back with Part 2 of my review sometime soon.