Standing on the Promises by Douglas Wilson

Standing on the Promises is a great introductory book on God’s covenantal promises to parents regarding their children and the parental requirements to bring them up in the God’s ways. I feel like I have been reading books like this for a few years now, so a lot of the ideas weren’t especially new to me. But I probably would recommend this book over others I have read because it views childrearing in the context of the covenant.

The first few chapters cover biblical promises to parents, biblical requirements of parents, the idea of covenant continuity, the nature of children, and the authority of parents. These chapters are the foundation for the following chapters that explain training and discipline. I guess you could say these chapters are the why of biblical childrearing, and the others are the how.

In the how chapters, he covers the need for a Christian education and the application of godly discipline. I thought his arguments on the need for Christian education (vs. public schools) were convincing, though I didn’t really need convincing on that point. And I really enjoyed his discussion on discipline. With some Christian literature, I get this weird, sick feeling that the authors enjoy spanking their children and really get a kick out of the power they exert over their children. But I definitely did not get that feeling with this book. He writes, “When the parent is qualified to discipline, he probably does not feel like it, and when he feels like it, he is probably not qualified” (110). I also liked his exhortation to pick the battles carefully, and then win all of those battles.

There is one chapter on childrearing when the children are older. I really enjoyed this chapter a lot because it seems like there isn’t much out there regarding discipline when your children are older/teenagers. He says that if you bring up children correctly when they are younger, your restrictions on them should be gradually lifted during this time. I found his discussion on house rules/God’s rules really helpful in understanding how to have rules separate from God’s rules and how to help your children understand the difference.

The thing I liked most about this book is its hope. With some parenting books, you get the feeling that if you don’t do this, this, and this perfectly, your children will grow up to be terrible human beings who will ruin your life. If a parent were coming into the game late with biblical childrearing, I think that he would be encouraged by this book to rely on the grace of God and focus on the present instead of the past. God is big enough to overcome our parental failures and weaknesses, but He requires us to be faithful in our part of the covenant as well.